Wewriwa allows writers to share snippets of their books or works in progress in 8 simple sentences. Or not so simple if you get creative with punctuation. Visit www.wewriwa.com to see what everyone comes up with. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. This week I’ve moved from my paranormal story with Callie and Dane and decided to share my current work in progress. The story is giving me fits but check it out below and let me know your thoughts. Olivia is on the run and decides to carjack the handsome Shane. Both don’t know what’s in store for them… and neither do I. LOL
The cold press of steel met the back of his neck. “Don’t turn. Don’t stop, just keep going.” The soft cadence of her voice caressed his ear. A voice that vibrated with nerves.
It took everything in Shane to battle his instinct to overtake her and remove the gun from her shaking hand. He dared not look over his shoulder and startle her. Christ, if the gun was loaded, she could blow his head off and not even mean to.
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I pictured her holding a knife when I read the first sentence. Love the “soft cadence of her voice” line… great tension in this scene, thanks for sharing. 🙂
Thanks Goran. Now I need to study fight scenes. You’ve inspired me 🙂
I love the way her nervousness was so evident, not really the bad girl trying to sound tough. Great 8.
I like hearing his thoughts. Makes me like him already and makes me wonder about why she’s having to put a gun to someone’s head and drive…
Thanks Millie, this ones a toughie
Eek. No don’t startle the poor girl. Great snippet. I’m sure the story will turn out fine without a plan. (that’s how I write).
Good to know Heather. I’m pantsing all the way on this
Exciting, tense eight. Love the way you’ve captured the nervousness in both of them.
I appreciate hearing that Gemma
Terrific scene you’ve written here. Had me on the edge of my seat. ‘soft voice, shaking of the gun.’ I’m hooked so keep writing.
*Fist pump* Just what I want to hear Charmaine.LOL
Great job describing the voice! And the nerves.
Thx Jess
This is really good—her nervousness is palpable and his thoughts about her unpredictability are (from what I’ve read) spot on!
Thanks Sarah. I’m glad it came through 🙂
What a great 8 to use for the challenge! Well done, Michelle.
Thanks JA
Oh wow…such tension. Her nervousness makes everything so much more up in the air about what will happen.
I tried to convey how both felt in that situation. Thx Sarah
I think Shane’s got the picture, I like his calmness and he strikes me as a very capable guy. Excellent excerpt!
Yes, Shane is developing into quite the character Veronica. Glad you liked
Love the description of the gun, that was great. Love the new look of your website, very nice.
thx Jacy.its still in process
A loaded gun in the hands of a terrified person is even scarier than in the hands of a calm one–hope he avoids pushing or startling her into a mistake!
Thx Caitlin
Very nice. I was cringing at the idea of a shaky hand holding a gun to the back of my head. @_@
Glad you felt the tension Gem
Very nice buildup. One question: did you mean “overwhelm” when you said “overtake?” Overtake in the context of being in a car sounds like passing another car.
Good catch Sue Ann. Changing the original
This is fabulous writing!
Huge compliment Sarah. **Grinning broadly**:)
Wow, so dangerous!
I’ve put my heroine in a dangerous situation Linda and I can’t wait to see how it turns out
Ooo, intense! Felt like I had the gun to my neck. *shivers* Definitely want more! Great 8! 😀
Yeah, Karen 🙂
Oh my gosh, I LOVE the premise! She’s nervous, and he’s nervous that she’s nervous because a nervous woman with a gun is never a good thing! 😀 Can’t wait for more!
LOL, thx Evelyn